Story Summary

Session 0

2020-12-26

Five being found themselves floating bodiless in a void. In the distance these entities could see a bright source of light from which a current of slowly drifting dust and rock endlessly radiated. Through the current of this river of dust a robed figure approached them holding a thick book and a green flamed torch.

The robed figure beckoned the beings towards a large boulder that slowly spun in the current of radiating dust. As it spun a door could be seen on one side of the boulder which the robed figure opened and ushered the beings inside.

A rush and a distortion of reality later, and this group of beings found themselves inside a waiting room where long lines of humans, dwarves, elves and various other less common species of humanoids stood waiting to speak with an attendant behind a window. Here and there could be seen beings of alien origin waiting along with the more common.

The robed figured led the five past the lines into into a small conference room containing a table surrounded by chairs. Seating themselves in this bewildering place, the robed figured took the head of the table and greeted them identifying himself as Tobar.

Tobar welcomed them all to the afterlife and upon laying out and consulting their various rap-sheets, he shook his head. He proposed to the group an alternative to the eternity of fiery torture they were scheduled for.

Tobar informed them that he owed a favor to one Epicius in the chaotic heaven of Kodfuggony. He suggested that if they agreed to his deal, they should find their way through the land of chaos and make their way to the top of the World Tree Yggdrasil. At the top they would find the fortification of Valhalla and within, likely feasting with the demi-god Oden, would be Tobar’s friend Epicius. He would give them the details of the mission and in return provide them with a safe haven to enjoy eternity, far from the misery of Pokol, the Nine Hells of Asmodeus.

All five of the group agreed, and upon signing Tobar’s contract they received bodies and identities that would pass cursory inspection within Mennyorszag, the Seven Heavens of Gygax.

Departing, the group found their way through the endless storms and chaos of Kodfuggony where the rare giant, orc and even goblin that lead a goodly life ended up after its death. Evading these creatures of chaos, the group, calling themselves The Misfits, climbed the vast and mighty Yggdrasil, who’s uppermost boughs held the impregnable fortress known as Valhalla.

Gaining entrance to the citadel, The Misfits found the immortal one-eyed Oden feasting endlessly with hoards of mighty warriors and poets, among them a swarthy man in a toga. This toga clad man identified himself as Epicius and learned as much as he could about the former lives of these newly dead agents.

A Goliath, Varath “Nightrider” Nulakigo, priest of St Belanus, Quim Whiskers, Tibaxi Monk, Seymore Cheeks, Aasimar Monk, and twin sisters Pit and Pat Diggle, halflings and bards each, introduced themselves. Satisfied that they would serve, Epicius made his terms know. In exchange for performing a small duty, he would provide for them with a safe and out-of-the-way place in an idyllic paradise where they could relax and retire in comfort, far from the concerns and goings on of the Gygaxian hierarchy. He would even provide them with the proper papers to give the appearance of legitimacy should any of the Order of Inquisitors come asking. To receive these rewards, Epicious asked only that the five of them travel the Seven Kingdoms of Mennyorszag and inquire in each as to the amount of time that had elapsed since the last visitation of Gygax. His agent would meet them in Ovadek and provide their due reward upon completion of this task.

They also learned rumors of a party of adventurers lead by a person named Aramoth who had been missing for several months. A reward was offered to find him, and if the worst suspicions proved true to properly bury his body and bring back his heirloom armor for a reward.

Session 1

2021-01-17

Exiting the rear portal of Valhalla, the Misfits beheld a breathtaking view of endless frozen mountain peaks, with green forested valleys and fjords hemming in small seas and waterways.

The Misfits travelled through this mountainous realm eventually finding the small mining town of Sharbrook. In the Rockslide Bar and Grill they met their first Bashar, nomadic goat herders who rule the mountains of Rakia as much as anyone can. These people are governed by strict principles of their “Code of Life” consisting mainly of Hospitality, Asylum, Justice and Revenge. In addition to these the goat-people were known to value Bravery, Loyalty, Kindness, Arbitration, Faith, Respect, Pride, Honor, Courage and Culture.

The young woman lead them back to her tribe where the Misfits participated in Goat-pulling where they road horses and attempted to throw a dead goat into a barrel, winning the event and joining in a feast.

Travelling next towards a mountain monestery known to house an order called The Breathless Brotherhood, the Misfits trudged through snowy passed, once encountering an Ogre carrying a huge shield. Getting only half-answers from the mentally handicapped behemouth, they later witnessed the giant-kin rushing down the side using the shield as a sled, then beginning the trek once more to the top.

At the Breathless Brotherhood, they discovered an order of sickly monks who’s proctor, Father Abermerle had recently passed away. They Misfits were assured that he should resurrect any day now, and learned that such was the way of these monks – they enduring ritual suicide followed by resurrection in the hopes that they would bring back Wisdom from the other side at the cost of their health.

They were encouraged to perform the pilgrimage of their founder Hermaeus Martin and would be gifted lay-membership in the order as well as a sacred blessing.

Session 2

2021-02-14

Travelling next to the Gideon Outpost, The Misfits took on work ridding the area of a threatening wolf-pack in exchange for the cold-weather gear they would need to search for Aramoth in the wilderness.

Slaughtering the wolves, they Misfits made camp in the lower section of the wolf caves where the unsuspecting Quim became infected by Olive Slime while she slept.

It was in this same lower cave system that they also discovered the glint of something shiny deep in the frigid waters of an underground pond. Seymore swam down and found golden boot buckles and quickly discovered the source – a dead dragonborn. The unfortunate soldier clutched in his had a note detailing that he had been injured by the wolves, fled under the pond to this safe place but would not be able to recover and escape. He had scribbled the note with the last of his lamp light in the hopes that his ally Aramoth would learn of his fate.

Indeed the armor that the dragonborn wore granted the wearer the ability to rapidly swim similarly to a fish.

Returning to the Gideon Outpost with this new-found information they party beheld what at first appeared to be a siege of the fortification, but in fact was a different group of Bashar herders, these specialized to life high in the mountains and who bred and trained giant riding goats and brewed special potions of climbing.

As Quim languished, quarantined outside the walls of the fort, the others partied with the Bashar. The leader, Abdel took special interest in the strong and hearty Goliath Nightrider and encouraged the man to drink and tried to ply him with gifts and promises in exchange for marrying his daughter. The sly Goliath was able to forestall the nuptuals by pleading religion. The cleric spent some of his hard-earned cash to have a tapestry created showing himself piously revering St. Belanus.

Meanwhile outside the gates the young acolyte monk Freddie administered a salve to the weakening Quim to maintain her health. Quim in return paid for the lad to receive proper medical training.

During all this Seymore had befriended the aasimar Appoloyon, a temple custodian of Vasoluru a minor demi-god of nature whom the Tribe of Abdel had raided and captured. Appoloyon now followed the tribe continuing his custodianship of the godling in a sort of mobile temple and had even married into their tribe. Seymore contributed generously to his efforts.

The Misfits also met Sir Wayreth and Squire Nicholos of The Order of Inquisitors. They explained that they are searching for Bishop Marcus Abdelus who is suspected of serving Mephistopheles during the war. They offered the Misfits 1000gp for his head, or 1500gp for him alive.

Worried for Quim’s health, the group returned to The Breathless Brotherhood in the hopes that Father Abermerle had returned to life. Finding the father still dead, and the various acolytes gravely concerned, they decided to take the pilgrimage of Hermaeus Martin up to the peak high above the monastery to pick the sacred black bean and bring it back.

First encountering a sizable gap in the path with a vertiginous drop and a strong continuous gust of wind blasting up from below. The gust turned out to be an elemental, and they were able to trick the monster away and make the leap safely.

Next they found a frozen cascade which Seymore was able to climb finding an area of the ice-fall that had a glimmer behind it. He continued up finding the wild black beans growing and a giant nest with eggs in the midst of the bean patch. A giant eagle savagely attacked the Aasimar until he gathered the beans and fled.

Curious of the glimmer behind the cascade, he chipped and melted the ice until a cave was revealed with a frozen baby dragon curled tightly into a ball. He spooned the creature until it thawed and woke disoriented but appreciative. For saving it from its icy tomb the dragon offered the location of a hidden shrine at the bottom of the neighboring valley.

Session 3

2021-02-28

Having completed the pilgrimage of Hermaeus Martin the Breathless Brotherhood welcomed Quim, Nightrider and Seymore into the order as Lay-brothers and sister and brewed their beans into a potent anointment. Within the next month, if any of them should die, the blessing would return them to the cusp of life.

In spite of the humble celebration of greeting new members, the brotherhood remained somber, as Father Abermerle had still not yet resurrected and the Brothers were getting nervous. Brother Seamus commented to the new members that they had only just found a pair of halflings the previous day, and had convinced them to be locked away in the penitent’s cell in the hopes that their notorious luck could be used in some way. Brother Seamus asked his new allies if they knew which specific part of the halfling was the lucky bit so that he might brew a potion with it and help with Father Abermerle’s resurrection.

At this moment the pair showed up, Pit and Pat having long since grown bored with their incarceration and escaped. Upon learning that they were merely wayward Misfits themselves, Brother Seamus relented his inquiry.

The newly united Misfits made to venture down to the Shrine of Phasia in the valley below per Caustus the Copper Dragon’s recommendation but were first interrupted by a commotion – a badly wounded Inquisitor, Sir Monte Elverson, had begged asylum from the monks. He related that his squire had been slain days before by a poison sting with no apparent source. When his horse Lacie became lame with a viscious bite to the leg, he suspected a foul Imp to be the culpret. The knight had called down ‘the servants’ but the imp fled. The monks took him and administered his wounds.

At the Tomb of Phasia in the valley below, The Misfits found the shrine and a man called Elephaim who proclaimed himself to be a shrine hunter, seeking blessings form all the various shrines in the Seven Kingdoms. The Misfits quickly solved the puzzle and gained entrance to the shrine as well as were gifted with magical blank forms from the Patron Saint of Forgery. Nightrider began to pry loose the jewels encrusting the statue, but this summoned Epheariel the Protectar who insisted Nightrider put the gems back and seek atonement for his sins.

Nightrider declared himself atoned for his crimes through the dubious rite of self-absolution.

Upon returning to the Breathless Brotherhood, Pit and Pat made sizable donations to the monks in return for daily prayers for a year guaranteeing notoriety for the duo with all penitents. The Misfits contributed in in their own way to Father Abermerle’s resurrection rite, and at long last the elderly proctor was brought back to the world of the living. Inquisitor Elverson, now steadily recovering, expressed his concern over an Imp running loose in the Kingdom of Rakia, and suggested The Misfits take care and bring it back alive if they encounter the creature.

The next night while camping the Misfits encountered a creature rooting through Pat’s bag. They quickly slew the creature without getting a good look at it, and indeed it died in a blinding flash of light leaving no trace, suggesting it was in fact a darkling, a fey creature and a rare sight anywhere in the Seven Kingdoms of Mennyorszag.

Upon returning to the Gideon Outpost, Seymore was able to embarrass the Monks there by rightfully claiming their sacred amulet, The Necklace of Adaptation.

The Misfits then resumed their quest to find Aramoth, finding in time the Tomb of Yzna. The solid stone floors showed evidence that Aramoth’s group had somehow become embedded in the rock, and indeed the cause became clear when a Gibbering Mouther – an undulating mass of flesh who’s every inch was covered by an eye or a mouth of one of its previous victims, and who’s alien nature turned the stone it slid across into bread dough. The brave warriors did battle with the creature and it fled down through the floor, allowing them to further explore.

In an old vault they discovered a languishing Aasimar who called himself Gilgamesh and claimed to be the custodian of this particular temple. He was chained to a loop in the stone, having been put there by Aramoth’s party, and subsequently witnessed their destruction by the Gibbering Mouthers.

The Misfits broke the poor Aasimar’s wrists to try to remove them from the chains, however the magical shackles tightened themselves down. In private the heros discussed removing Gilgamesh’s wrists below the shackles to free the man.

Session 4

2021-03-14

Continuing from the Temple to Yzna, The Misfits decided against removing Gilgamesh’s hands instead leaving the Aasimar to suffer his broken hands while they continued below.

At the bottom of the winding stairs, they found a temple with 6 large statues acting as pillars each with a steel sword in its hand. The Misfits approached and the swords magically lifted from the statues and pointed menacingly at the heros. Thinking quickly, they each in turn held up an offering, Nightrider his Forgery of Phasia and 50 coins, the rest a more modest amount. Together the offerings were enough to satisfy the guardians, and as they placed their tithes on the alter, the swords returned to the statues. Nightrider then took the Dawn Codex from the alter, the gem on its cover shining bright light.

Investigating the room, they soon found a vestry as well as a door with bloody prints, and after assuring the resident of their safety, they met Bachlor the Silver Dragonborn and sole remaining survivor of Aramoth’s original party. Bachlor explained their fight with the Gibbering Mouther above, and his flight here only to be savaged by the animated sword guardians.

Returning to Gilgamesh they found that Seymore had managed to liberate the journal of Aramoth and was able to free Gilgamesh with the magical command words only for the remaining Mouther to return. Quickly dispatching the wounded abomination, they healed Gilgamesh and returned below.

He showed them a secret door behind the statue and they found a jeweled crown and scepter as well as a treasure chest. The crown and scepter were real enough and the party pocketed them to prevent their falling into the hands of tomb robbers, however the chest turned out to be yet another dreamed up monster of the declining goddess Yzna, a Mimic which attacked and nearly consumed Nightrider.

The Misfits agreed to ship salt back to Gilgamesh that he might protect himself from the Gibbering Mouthers that his custodial ward might dream up in the future, and the friends made camp in front of the Tomb.

As they slept that night, a mote of bright light happened upon them, investigating their encampment and the tomb before moving on.

With Bachlor and the body and armor of Aramoth, they first returned to the Gideon Outpost where they were able to pay to have salt delivered, and then continued on to Sharbrook and from there to Valhalla. Bachlor took the body of Aramoth and the familial armor promising to return to Valhalla with the reward for the Misfits.

Nightrider beseeched Epicius to use his resources to identify the Dawn Codex, and the toga adorned man agreed taking the Tome to a sage he knew of.

As they left Valhalla, the Misfits happened upon a bishop who matched the description of the wanted Abdelus and accosted and bound the man with the Dimensional Shackles that previously bound Gilgamesh.

Session 5

2021-04-11

Gabriel the sage and archangel of Kodfuggony, approached the Misfits. He was truly a sight to behold, towering over even Nightrider, beautiful with a glowing nimbus surrounding him, and 2 wings on his back that looked like fire with fractal spotted patterns stretching away within them into infinity. One seemed to nearly lose oneself gazing into those impossible almost fiery wings.

Gabriel was pleased to return the Dawn Codex to the Misfits, the relic not being of Gygax and of little interest in his studies. He was impressed that they were able to brave the temple of even a declining former god such as Yzna. Indeed he warned the brave adventurers against undue hubris – had Yzna possessed worshipers the task would likely have been much more dangerous.

The Archangel implored Pit to join him for a time in the hopes that the luck of a halfling would prove to be what was needed to conclude a project he was working on. In exchange for her sister, Gabriel offered a sending stone to Pat so that they might still communicate with each other daily.

The group then further interrogated their prisoner, the disgraced bishop Marcus Abdelus. The former holy-man begged pleaded and bargained for his release, offering tempting knowledge of a pair of magical relics. Upon obtaining their tacit agreement, the fallen priest lead the Misfits down Yggdrasil into the wastelands of Kodfuggony and eventually to an Orc outpost.

These Orcs, the most goodly of their kind, were still beings of chaos and would not hesitate to defend their stronghold against any sort of threat. Luckily for the Misfits, the treasure they sought was not within the fortification itself, but rather outside of it, buried within the middens.

The disgraced Bishop indicated that his part of the agreement was fulfilled and with that he fled into the wilderness.

In this great garbage pile the heroes found lowly goblins picked through the refuse, the creatures paying particular heed to a tentacled monster called an Otyugh, that ruled over these middens. Using their wits and magic the heroes quickly discovered a spear that howled and shrieked to warn of nearby enemies, as well as an unknown object within the Otyugh itself. Successfully causing the monster to gag and retch on a length of rope, it regurgitated a ring which the party grabbed and fled with.

Session 6

2021-04-25

Bachlor, the Dragonborn comrade of Aramoth soon returned to the fortress called Valhalla, and finding the Misfits he bequeathed upon them a power horn that could be used to call robust warriors to their aid should the cause be worthy. He thanks the Misfits again on behalf of Aramoth’s family.

Traveling then once more into Rakia, the Misfits headed directly for The Celestial Palace by following the River Udvosseg. They were greeted along the way by Appolyon the custodian Aasimar that had befriended Seymore outside the Gideon Outpost. He explained that the wooden fetish that he watched over had seemed to take a liking to the gifts bestowed on it by Seymore and kept disappearing from Appolyon’s possession only to be found again when he traveled nearer to Seymore’s location.

Finding the glorious palace, they were stunned by the way it hung in the sky, not touching the ground in any way. Hiring a barge to lift them to the gates, they were greeted and offered humble accomodations, all except Pat who was treated as one would treat royalty, pampered, given the finest of foods and scented baths.

Only the Archangel Zacheriel was currently residing within the Celestial Palace, but this was for the best for her counterpart Raphael would be far less understanding of the nature of The Misfits given their unusual predicament of residing in heaven when they had been damned to the hells. Zacheriel was happy to meet them and pleased to learn of their quest to seek out Gygax. She expressed her own concerns, Gygas had not visited Rakia for some centuries either, although she did assure the group that since her own miracles, as those of Nightrider still worked. Gygax remained manifest to be sure, even if he was as yet still missing.

She warned the Misfits about the dangers of traveling into Shakim. It was a wild place, its forested hills home to celestial beasts. She admitted that there was little harm in casually slaying such a creature – it would reform in time and defending oneself in such a manner was not a crime even if the slain creature would remember its attacker later. The only way this would result in a capital crime was if such an attacker were to work a ritual of the body of the slain celestial such that its essence were destroyed irrevocably. In this case one could count on the inquisition seeking the offender to put on trial.

She further cautioned the risks of invading other abating godlings. While their temple-tombs held great riches, those godlings that still entertained worshippers could bring terrible magic to bear against invaders. Surely the Misfits didn’t lust after gold that they would be willing to accept such risks.

The Misfits then followed the river though a sort of transition or portal between worlds and found themselves within the forests and hills of Shakim.

Session 7

2021-05-23

Passing through the transitional portal between Rakia and Shakim, the Misfits quickly discovered that the river they navigated became a waterfall. Recovering on the banks of the river below, Pat and Seymore along with Appolyon gathered themselves and struck out searching for their missing comrades.

Appolyon offered what information he knew about these hills and forests of the Heaven called Shakim. The Archangel was called Anahel, and it was home to the rare and elusive sapphire dragons. He was aware that the secular authority was called “The Green Man” but the nature of this being was beyond Appolyon’s certainty. He suggested it could be some sort of goodly fey-creature, for it was not unheard of that the rare noble example of the typically mischievous fey-folk could end up here after their allotted time in Fairyland or Primordia. Not many he suspected, as Gygax had created Fairyland between Primordia and the Nine Hells of Pokol to serve as a sort of cork to contain and keep out the devils. The Feywild, as some had taken to call it, fulfilled a similar purpose to the Place of Endless Night or “Shadowfell” which contained the demons in the Abyss of Szakadek.

As the trio followed the Udvosseg River deeper into Shakim, they soon discovered a village of brown-skinned wood elves. The chieftan of the village called “Stars Shine Under Water” roughly translated to the common tongue, was displeased to see them, but she allowed them to rest with her people for 1 night provided they immediately left at first dawn. A meek servant girl brought them the typical vegetarian fair of the elves, roots, seeds and fruit and was provoked to speak with them. She shared that the reason the matron of the village was so against outsiders was due to the recent Worg attacks. To make matters worse, no one had seen or heard from The Green Man in some time.

At dawn, the brave Misfits and Appolyon set out into the wilderness to investigate the Worg problem. They soon found some of the horrible creatures, and after slaying them, proceeded to analyze the corpses and discovered goblinoid features. This suggested to them that this was the product of wolves crossbred with goblins in some bizarre and unclean manner.

Reporting back to the village, the elf-chieftan was impressed and apologized for her rude behavior the previous day, inviting the Misfits to stay with them at any time.

Striking out from the village and continuing to follow the Udvosseg River, the Misfits soon found The Celestial Palace of Shakim and arranged to meet with Anahel. The archangel was pleased to make their acquaintance and offered that it had been a matter of decades since Gygax’s last visit. Anahel expressed concern that The Father would continue to be away so long from His favorite place of solace and wished the Misfits good fortune in their hunt.

While at the palace The Misfits met Origami Hochin, one of the official Inquisitors. He suggested if they had time to spare, that they should test their wits against the puzzles of the hideout of Tacitus Flavianus, a suspected follower of Mephistopheles.

After puzzling out the various locks and confronting Tacitus, the Misfits interrogated the man and learned of his complicity in the recent Worg breeding program. He willingly betrayed his underlings and revealed the location of the encampment where the Worgs were being bred and trained by his agents.

Session 8

2021-06-06

While en-route to the Worg breeders’ encampment, Seymore and Pat discovered a village of cat-people and found their allies recovering from injuries sustained in their own plummet down the waterfall.

The loudmouthed leader, Lion-O greeted them thunderously, and sent his best warrior and inventor Panthro to accompany them in their quest to end the Worg menace.

Along the way the group met a traveler by the name of Josephus who offered the tip that Worgs strongly dislike vinegar, which was how he managed to remain alive in this hostile territory on his own. Trading some vinegar to the Misfits, he wished them well.

The heros soon discovered that the agent of Tacitus was in reality a cyclops who was tending to 3 wooden enclosures filled with the barking wolf-goblin hybrids. They did battle with the cyclops, keeping him busy while they set the enclosures on fire. The agonized howls of the terrified and dying worgs served only to galvanize the Misfits into seeing their task through to the end, and they destroyed the worgs utterly along with the cyclops.

They were greeted with a heroes’ welcome upon their return to the thunderous cat village and they rested and recovered in comfort.